


Kindling for a Slow Burn

by barelyprolific



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Canon Analysis, Canon Compliant, Canon Trans Character, Character Analysis, Cis-het tropes repurposed, Essay, F/M, Potential for Trans Romance, mixed metaphors, relationship analysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26499286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyprolific/pseuds/barelyprolific
Summary: An essay exploring the potential (and potentially groundbreaking) budding romance between Paul Strickland and Marjan Marwani.
Relationships: Marjan Marwani/Paul Strickland (9-1-1 Lone Star)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Kindling for a Slow Burn

**Author's Note:**

> As I was rewatching Lone Star in anticipation of its removal from Hulu, I was struck once again by whatever it is the writers are doing with Paul and Marjan, and obviously giving Covidtine, I had the time on my hands to obsessively take notes.  
> There is admittedly a lot of bias in this. I myself am a trans man, and the love and appreciation I have for Paul has no bounds. I do see a relationship forming between him and Marjan, and it does seem like the narrative and creative choices of the directors support my theory, but again, I admit to bias. A lot of it. I love the idea of this relationship, and I do think it would be one of the most important t.v. relationships this decade, were it to happen and happen right.  
> Please enjoy this essay, and if you make it to the end, let me know what you think.

_“The, uh, probie is feeling no pain. You, on the other hand, look like you’re working up an ulcer.”_

_“What? No, no, I’m fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_“Right, right. Biting that lip, rubbing on the back of your neck, classic self-soothing gestures. Very un-Marjan.”_

_“You’re kinda creepy, you know that?”_

_“Hey, I just see what I see.”_

_“I got slut shamed at the mosque.”_

_“Oh, the, uh, hijab malfunction?”_

_“It’s not just that. They--I’ve been told that I need to find a new place to worship, because apparently I am too proud.”_

_“Yeah, and what do you think?”_

_“Am I proud? Yeah.And weirdly ashamed at the same time.”_

_“ **Yeah, I feel that.** This mosque, do you like it?” _

_“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”_

_“You do not let them shame you for being proud. I say you strut in there with your hijab held high.”_

The conversation above takes place between Paul Strickland and Marjan Marwani at the end of “Texas Proud”, the third episode of the first season of 9-1-1 Lone Star. It happens after a series of events throughout the episode that started with Marjan’s hijab coming off during an incident in a grain silo, and acts as the final resolution for the episode arc. Marjan, already established as a daring risk-taker whose impulsive actions often result in attention from social media outlets, has to deal with, as she puts it, “the worst moment of [her] life going viral”. Marjan, a deeply spiritual Muslim who openly takes comfort in her faith, finds herself rejected by her new mosque not only because of this horrible moment she experienced, but because of who she is. In this, her lowest point on the show thus far, we see only one person take notice and successfully attempt to cheer her up. 

In terms of heteronormative romances, this conversation was meant to be the starting gun, so to speak. It echoes countless similar moments on other t.v. shows with a slow-burn couple: in a low place, the female love interest finds herself confiding in the male, which starts a bond of trust and understanding that eventually leads to attraction and love. It is such a blatant moment that there is practically a neon arrow pointing at them, and in most cases, that is all it takes for thousands of people to become diehard shippers. If that weren’t enough, there are numerous moments throughout the first season of Lone Star that hint at a blossoming romance between Paul and Marjan. By the end of the season, they are undeniably flirtatious with each other. However, most of the viewers of 9-1-1 Lone Star seem to be overlooking what promises to be an incredible, groundbreaking television couple… If the show follows through with it. 

The reasons for this ship being overlooked could be anything, although it seems mostly likely that the audience is falling into CIS-blindness. Paul Strickland, arguably the most typically masculine character on the show after Cowboy Judd Ryder, is trans. Paul being trans is not his defining characteristic. He enjoys reading, is intelligent and observant, enjoys solving mysteries and is very good at it. He has a sharp sense of humor, a love of cooking, and is handsome and thoughtful. Again, however, he is trans. More than that, he is a dark-skinned Black trans man. So despite everything else about him that establishes Paul beyond him being a transgender man, the fact that Paul is trans seems to be what the audience focuses on. They, like his episodic love interest Josie, just don’t seem to be able to get past it. Fan works that center around Paul are rare, and when they do, they inevitably focus on his trans identity in some way. Perhaps this is why, despite the show’s best efforts, the beautifully understated stirrings of romance between Paul and Marjan are ignored. 

Marjan and Paul are introduced in such a way that is almost parallel to each other. While Owen and TK relocate to Austin together, Judd has lived there his whole life, and Mateo, while born in Mexico, moved there so young the same can be said for him, Paul and Marjan are the two who move to Austin alone and lack a support system outside of the station. True, as Marjan points out, nobody would confuse Mateo and Judd as brothers, but Mateo is not an outsider to the community in the way that Paul and Marjan are. 

Before the audience sees Marjan on screen, TK says “But this chick just seems kinda crazy.” We then see Marjan commit an incredible act of bravery, going above and beyond the call of duty to save a life. This scene, however, is shown to be a viral video being played back to Owen and TK as Marjan interviews for the job. Owen comments on the number of reprimands Marjan has had, to which she is dismissive, even flippant. 

Paul is introduced in almost the exact same way. TK has a line, “Dad, you bring this guy in, people here would lose their minds,” and then the audience sees Paul, having deduced the identity of an arsonist, tackle the man without backup so that he can be apprehended. Again, going above and beyond the call of duty. Again, the audience discovers that this scene is actually being watched on a phone by TK and Owen during Paul’s interview. However, instead of an impressive amount of reprimands, Paul has gotten an equally impressive amount of life-saving commendations. Paul reacts much as Marjan did when Owen brings them up: he says he “got lucky”, to which Owen scoffs. 

What we are being told here is that both firefighters are extraordinary, and similar enough that they enjoy media attention, but also with a pretense of modesty and a cavalier attitude about their skills. However, with their personal lives, both are much more cautious. Marjan and Paul both initially turn down the job in Austin, citing finally feeling respected, in Marjan’s case, and not wanting to have to reestablish his identity in an area that he considers potentially much more hostile than the one he’s already fought so hard to be in (which is implied to be no picnic itself, but at least familiar). Owen appeals to their sense of dignity and, in Paul’s case, his need to support children who are going through what he did, and he promises them both without words that on his team, neither of them will ever have to fight for the respect they deserve. It is this promise of respect that sways them.

In this way, Lone Star is already beginning to set up Paul and Marjan as a unit, two people with similar personalities to be associated with each other in the viewer’s mind. Further exploration of their characters reveals that Paul and Marjan have even more in common. In the second episode of the season, “Yee-Haw”, Marjan delights in the way Paul deals with the racist woman who made the nuisance call. In episode seven, “Bum Steer”, Marjan’s joke about beating a man with a 2x4 being “one way to hit on a guy” earns not only a laugh from Paul, but a playful tap. There are several background moments where Paul or Marjan says or does something to make the other person laugh throughout the season. 

Not only are their senses of humor similar, but they enjoy the same types of movies, as evidenced in episode eight, “Monster Inside”, and their discussion of horror movies. They both have a similar approach to earning Buttercup the dog’s favoritism, because while Paul chides Marjan for attempting to bribe him with a treat, he reveals he has jerky. Although this is a minor moment, it is a further indication that they think alike. 

Beyond thinking similarly, Marjan and Paul understand each other. Throughout the first season, there are moments where they are outside of situations occurring, whether deliberately or incidentally, where the camera makes a point of focusing on an shared Look of Understanding between the two of them. Sometimes this is even verbalized. In “Yee-Haw”, it is Paul that Marjan turns to in her incredulity when the racist woman first snubs her handshake, and then refers to her Latinx neighbors as “these people”. In “Bum Steer”, their entire conversation with Judd in the kitchen is filled with exchanged looks of silent communication. They are arguing with each other like a married couple, but defend themselves as a unit to Judd, backing each other up about what they’re saying to him. This scene is significant in two other ways, as well. 

First, while maintaining eye contact, Marjan tells Paul, “We’re here now. Let’s just focus on the positive,” when he is validly complaining about being asked to move to Texas under false pretenses. Marjan views having Paul (and the rest of the 126) as positive, and she believes Paul feels the same. Second, Paul and Marjan are the ones who comfort Mateo, who is played in this scene as the scared younger brother struggling with his emotions. This is not the first time, or the last, that Paul and Marjan are put in charge of Mateo, as both have several parental or sibling-like interactions with him during the season, but it is the most blatant in terms of cementing that dynamic. The fact that this follows episode six, “Friends Like These”, an entire episode dedicated to establishing the sibling dynamic between Mateo and Marjan, should not be lost on viewers. The show is sending a message here: Paul and Marjan are a unit, and they look out for Mateo. 

In fact, Paul and Marjan as a unit is established early on in the series, as early as the first episode, when they are the ones working with Owen to get the pregnant woman out of her car. When giving orders, more often than not, Owen sends Paul and Marjan off together, with either TK or Mateo as a third party. In group shots, Marjan and Paul are almost always positioned next to each other, and from lingering shots on them dancing in the pilot at 38:32, Marjan handing Paul coffee last in “Monster Inside”, to the two of them getting the screen to themselves in a close up during their last scene in episode ten, “Austin, We Have A Problem” (39:15-39:19), to the myriad of little moments in between, Paul and Marjan are almost always in close proximity, if not right next to, each other. They are often connected to each other during dialogue, either through Owen’s orders, or while being discussed by other people, positively or negatively. In “Bum Steer” they are almost exclusively referred to together. 

If deliberate camera work and an emphasis on their compatibility isn’t enough, however, the scenes the two of them have together should establish to the audience the potential for romance, especially as the season goes on. Going back to “Texas Proud”, before their final scene, Paul and Marjan actually appear to misunderstand each other about her desire for attention. While Paul is initially protective of Marjan over losing her hijab--he is already running to her when Owen tells them to form a shield, and he silently reprimands Mateo for being flippant over Marjan’s concerns--he also doesn’t understand why Marjan is upset about the comments being made on Instagram. He even says, “Do not pretend like you don’t love the attention,” to which Marjan replies, “I do, just not when its like that.” This is important, because it helps Paul understand Marjan better. It’s important that he understands that distinction, that he hears her, and the way he looks at Marjan in 18:30 is contemplative, showing he is listening to her. Paul hears what Marjan says, and this makes him able to comfort her at the end of the episode, in the exchange quoted at the beginning of this essay. 

The next episode, episode four, “Act of God”, starts the first scene at the station with a small exchange between Paul and Marjan that emphasizes his famous thoughtfulness: when he declares he is making his “world famous spicy sausage rigatoni,” Marjan is offended. “Sausage? Really dude?” are her exact words, to which Paul replies--“Chill, it’s turkey.” Later, when Owen rejects his offer of dinner because of his reaction to chemotherapy, the first thing Paul points out is that his food is halal, showing that accommodating Marjan was his first thought. Later, they have to decide who is going to rappel down to rescue a woman trapped upside down in her car, wedged between two buildings. Marjan eventually sends herself, but not after this exchange:

_“Look, I think I should go alone. I’m lighter.”_

_“That is very brave of you, Marj.”_

_“Thanks, buddy.”_

_“And the fact that you’re such an eager beaver would have nothing to do with that news van that just pulled up?”_

_“Hey, someone’s gotta make tonight’s top story. Why not me?”_

_“Or me? Check out how I rock this gear. Wait ‘til they get a taste of this chocolate.”_

_“That’s what I’m afraid of.”_

So the audience sees that Marjan has moved past her mixed emotions about herself, which re-establishes that her conversation with Paul helped her. The audience also hears Paul calling Marjan “Marj,” something no one else does. Their tone is playful, and could almost be called...flirtatious. Marjan is even joking about being jealous.

There is much more blatant flirting in episode nine, “Awakening”, and the significant thing here is that Paul and Marjan are deliberately given a scene to themselves to do it. Paul comes across Marjan petting Buttercup, the newly adopted station’s dog, and we get not only verbal flirting, but physical flirting as well. 

_“You still here?”_

_“I’m bonding with Buttercup.”_

_“Your shift is over.”_

_“Wait… Wait… Okay, okay! You see how good he listens to Auntie? That’s ‘cause you love Auntie the most.”_

_“Okay, it’s because you have the doggy treats. Wait ‘til TK gets back, we’ll see how much love you get then.”_

As they talk, Paul moves closer, eventually crouching down with Marjan so that they are both petting the dog. When Paul teases her about the doggy treats, Marjan playfully removes his hand. It is only after Paul and Marjan have been given this moment to themselves to flirt that Mateo and Judd appear. There is also a scene later in the episode, after Paul has removed a car from a child’s nose and Mateo mocks him for lying to the boy, Marjan calls him a monster. While Paul ignores Mateo, he tells Marjan “I kinda feel like a monster now, thank you!” and she starts laughing.

At the beginning of the first season finale, there is a moment when Owen asks Paul “Has anyone ever told you that when you do your thing, it feels a little bit like a violation?” Marjan is the one who answers, sitting next to Paul and across from Owen: “Yes, all the time.” Paul nods, but is content to allow Marjan to speak for him. This scene is a callback to their first moment of intimacy, in episode three, “Texas Proud”, meant to remind the audience that Paul and Marjan have a pre-established connection. It is in their final scene in the season finale, however, that sets up the potential for a real romance between Paul and Marjan in season two. In a scene with Paul, Marjan, and Mateo, Paul and Marjan are given several seconds of screen time focused on just them as they gaze up at what Paul says “might be the most beautiful thing we will ever see.” Even the blocking preceding this moment pairs off Marjan and Paul: Mateo shifts away from the two of them, leaving space between himself and Marjan, while Marjan and Paul stand so close they could be holding hands. Then they get their close up. This is when the music starts, and the mood starts to shift to romantic. The focus shifts to behind them and a group shot once more, and the audience sees the sky. Finally, only once Paul and Marjan have had their moment separate from Mateo does Marjan pull him back in, accepting Paul’s dinner invitation as she does. The next scene is Grace and Judd, who spent the season reconnecting, and then TK and Carlos lying on Carlos’s car, and they were the couple this season clumsily built towards. 

That being said, it is actually the exchange between Paul and Marjan before this that is the most telling. Or rather, two lines of dialogue that stem from Paul’s comment about Judd leaving quickly. Marjan says, “It’s because he has someone to go home to.” Paul replies, “Yeah, **true that** ,” before inviting Marjan (and Mateo) to come eat with him. This is how Paul and Marjan end the series: with the acknowledgement that someone to go home to would be nice, and them deliberately being separated from Mateo to reemphasize their unity. 

Honestly, the slowly budding romance of Paul and Marjan is one of the most subtle and masterful things about the first season of Lone Star. It lacks the clumsiness of tarlos, or the blatancy of grudd, but it is there, in small moments that build into camaraderie and chemistry. The promise of more next season is there too. 

Of course, an essay about Paul and Marjan’s season one spark has to address the one episode that both makes no sense and perfect sense. The episode that Marjan is conspicuously absent from, except for when she’s needed at an emergency scene: season one, episode five, “Studs”. Her only lines come in the middle of the episode and relate to a scene they’re in the middle of. As the title implies, “Studs” is about, well, wooing and romance. Owen is worried he can’t get an erection, Grace is worried that she and Judd aren’t having sex, and Paul wants to go out with a girl but is worried about how she’ll react to him being trans. For this, Paul gets advice from TK and Mateo. Marjan, the one character that Paul actually has an established, deeper rapport with, is nowhere to be found. Marjan is a woman, though. Why does not Paul turn to her about Josie? Why is Marjan not around to give a quick-witted opinion about the situation, when she is in every other episode? Could the writers really not think of any way to include her in this storyline?

The only way Marjan’s absence makes sense is if she’s meant to be Paul’s endgame, slow burn love interest. If that’s the case, then if Marjan were involved with Paul’s storyline, the writers would need to make it clear she was bothered by his interest in Josie, or perhaps put in a scene where she comforts him and assures him of his masculinity, which, when contrasted with Josie’s reaction, would be a clear sign of interest. That would make the majority of the main cast involved in some sort of relationship plot, in a show that is not meant to be a romantic drama. 

In its first season, Lone Star has, arguably, three “main” romances: TK and Carlos, Grace and Judd, and Owen and Zoey. Owen and Zoey are light and fun, while Grace and Judd are attempting to work through some marriage issues and reestablish their bond, and TK and Carlos are...complicated. These romances take up a significant amount of screen time, and overall they detract from the greater, cohesive narrative of the show. All the focus on their relationships holds the plot back, and adding a fourth romance in the first season so blatantly would most likely be considered too much. Adding the seeds of a romance that will sprout later, though, which is arguably what the writers have done, is genius. 

As a trans man, romance for Paul is… also complicated. Too complicated to not give attention to. In a season already overflowing with relationship drama, there simply wouldn’t be enough time to dedicate to it, especially given the small number of episodes. While “Studs” is a good introduction to the concept, it by no means covers it, and the way it ends for Paul, with Josie forcing him to reassure her that she isn’t terrible and then making him hug her, can come across to trans viewers as something of an uncomfortable kiss off. 

Paul describes Josie as cool. “Like, extremely cool. Like, almost too-good-to-be-true cool.” This shows that Paul appreciates women that are confident and playful, smart and self-assured. But, as TK points out, Paul is worried about how she’ll react to him being trans. Paul says, “I usually meet women on dating apps. You know, everything’s in the profile, no surprises.” As it turns out, Paul is right to be concerned, because Josie is too good to be true. While this is disappointing for Paul, and the audience, it builds on the foundation of Paul and Marjan’s potential. Josie and Marjan are a lot alike. They are both no-nonsense, they are both a little tomboyish while still being feminine. Paul tells Josie that he kind of loves it when a girl “whoops his ass” in a competitive situation, and we can see that in the way he teases Marjan but ultimately doesn’t mind her taking the opportunity to show off, even when it means he doesn’t get to. Unlike Josie, however, Marjan already knows that Paul is trans, and she does not care or treat him any differently than the other men on the team. Marjan never reduces Paul to merely being a transgender man. She already sees him for all he is. 

In the episode before the audience meets Josie, Paul makes a point to reassure Marjan that he has accommodated her dietary restrictions, along with everyone else’s. Although he does complain about how difficult it is to cook for the 126, Paul demonstrates that he doesn’t mind doing it. He’s thoughtful enough to adjust his recipes without being asked to. This is subtly called back to when Josie makes a comment in the next episode about never knowing anymore if someone is vegan. All the same, she didn’t hesitate to bring Paul what she thought he should enjoy, that is, meat, rather than something neutral. Like a fruit basket. Or muffins. At first glance, this disdain for alternative food preferences could be seen as something they have in common, but actually it’s a sign of incompatibility. Josie is not thoughtful enough to make accommodations without being asked to, or to even think about them except as an afterthought. Marjan, in contrast, displays several moments of thoughtfulness and consideration throughout the season, like bringing everyone coffee at the hospital after TK gets shot, and tailoring her tutoring of Mateo to his strengths, and the strengths of the others she enlists to help. In her own way, Marjan is just as observant as Paul. 

So while Marjan is conspicuously absent from “Studs”, the episode actually moves the idea of a romance between Paul and Marjan forward. Without her even being present, the audience is told in no uncertain terms that she and Paul are compatible. Paul likes girls like Marjan, who he already has a connection with, and who already knows he is trans and doesn’t care. Marjan likes, well, Paul. This is clear in the way she almost always leaves with him, with or without Mateo--in fact they pointedly ditch him at the end of “Act of God”--in the way at the beginning of “Friends Like These” she’s uninterested in a conversation with Mateo but absolutely wants to know what Judd is inviting Paul to. It’s evident when she’s pleased to have impressed Paul with her lightning facts in “Bum Steer”, and or in the many times he makes her laugh. In the scene where Mateo keeps blaming Paul for breaking the espresso machine, Marjan is sharing a joke with Paul, not Mateo, about the situation. Her head whips towards Paul when Mateo rats him out to Owen, and when Paul holds up three fingers at her, she does too, while laughing. There is an ease and a playfulness to their interactions that is not there with other people.

The set up for a romance between Paul and Marjan is there. Whether or not it is explored further in season two remains to be seen, but there is certainly more than enough foundation to start building something on. The implication that Paul and Marjan will become each other’s person to come home to is there, but how does it take shape? The first step is by beginning to explore their relationship with each other outside of the 126. Scenes of them together not at work, and more scenes that are moments like the ones in “Texas Proud”, “Act of God”, and “Awakening”, where they are given the space to bond and flirt like any other couple on the show. 

This is important because that’s the significance of a romance between Paul and Marjan. When the potential is called groundbreaking, that is because it is. The idea that a character, a trans man, could be intentionally given a deliberate, artfully constructed relationship, the likes of which are usually reserved for (white) Cishet couples, is revolutionary. In a year where trans people are being murdered at an exorbitant rate, particularly trans people of color, the idea that this little spin-off show about **_first responders_ ** might go out of their way to plan and enact an epic, slow burn romance for a Black trans man feels...precious. That this relationship would not need to revolve around or rely on his transness for substance is mindblowing. Normalizing a romance with a trans man on such a popular show and in such a regular way, with such traditional signposting to plant those seeds, is something that has never been done before, but that is necessary. It would make so trans men feel seen in a way they never have before. 

So, are the showrunners of 9-1-1 Lone Star planning a romance between Paul and Marjan? Have they really, truly, managed to weave the subtlest, cleverest beginning to a groundbreaking romance into the background of the first season, when the rest of the show sometimes feels unbelievably clunky? Opinions will probably vary, and it will be up to the show itself to answer the question one way or the other. However it turns out, however intentional or unintentional these moments were in terms of planning an understated romance, watching Paul and Marjan in season one of Lone Star is something quietly beautiful, and refreshing in a way that brings hope.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it to the end, again, please let me know what your thoughts are. Although, if the thing you have to say is that you ship either of them with someone else instead (however you think you can justify making the comment), or something transphobic, then please just move along.


End file.
